Intentional judgment

"We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions."
~ Ian Percy

This goes back to perception and how mine will never be like yours. You can never feel what I'm feeling because my experience, genetics and environment isn't the same as yours. Even in the same family or two people witnessing the same event, this is still true.

It's amazing we get along at all... our experiences and perceptions are so vastly different.

We do our best to relate to each other. We use words like, "I understand" when we really mean, "I only know what I think I would feel if I were in your situation but I'm not in your situation and, quite frankly, it scares me to death and therefore, I'm going to project my fear on what I think you're going through and how I might react to it and hope that it is as close as possible to what you're feeling" or "I know what I felt when it appeared that my situation was just like yours but I've moved on since then and have a different point of view than you do." Or various other projections...

Even when we're struggling in relationship with someone or with an encounter, we forget that their thoughts, experiences, feelings and perceptions are different. We don't stop to think that they may have just found out horrible news and therefore, that's why they cut us off in traffic. We don't consider that our assumptions of their intentions may not be their intentions after all.

The point of it all is... we only see OUR point. Even when we try to see others'. Still stand up for your point, yes. But consider that others may not agree and allow them that.

Maybe the best stance, sometimes, is as simple as agreeing to disagree.

Don't you think?

What does this quote mean to you?

"A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not."

I attend a spiritual study group occasionally. I especially enjoy one in particular on Monday nights because it is hosted by a brilliant friend who continually challenges me to grow.

I attended last night's class and was disappointed to find he wasn't there. The other students know me as a fellow teacher of this particular area of study and thus, naturally, I began to lead the class in my friend's absence.

As the only single parent among my friends responsible for the care, feeding and lives of two small children, as a triathlete accountable for self-motivation while training alone, as the sole person skilled at my job, as a person always striving for more, thinking ahead, dreaming big, I am a leader in many areas of my life. It is what I do.

Why then do I sometimes want to blend into the crowd, hide among the students, wallflower myself into obscurity if only for a little while?

"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader."
~ John Quincy Adams

Do you think leaders get tired of leading?

Do you sometimes find yourself fighting who you naturally are?

Try, Try again.

"Give yourself permission to fail. Because if you fail, it means you tried."
~ a speaker at a networking event I attended last night

"You have to feel some discomfort, sometimes, to really get to know who you are. Like an eaglet being pushed from a nest, if you but spread your wings, you may find wind under them, holding you up. You just may soar. But you have to be willing to tumble first."
~ from an online seminar I listened to over the weekend

Heard this song on the drive home:



Ya think the universe is trying to tell me something?

Are you holding back from leaping with complete faith that the net will appear?

Is there a message the universe is sending to you?

Be where you are

"In Tibetan there is an interesting word: ye tang che. The ye part means 'totally, completely,' and the rest of it means 'exhausted.' It describes an experience of complete hopelessness, of completely giving up hope. This is an important point. This is the beginning of the beginning. Without giving up hope that there is somewhere better to be, that there is someone better to be, we will never relax with where or who we are."
~ Pema Chodron

Love this. I believe acceptance creates miracles.

What does this quote say to you?

Having a bad day?

"When you're bleak you feel weak, and sometimes forget how to speak. People will mistake you for meek, but it is okay, all you need is a little tweak and you'll feel better in about a week."
~ random online friend

Are there any quotes that make you smile when you're having a bad day?