About 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer according to the latest statistics. After losing a close friend last year to cancer and my father to cancer a few years before, I'm still licking my wounds from the "c" word. Sadly, as I age and my friends and family age, I will probably see even more instances of it.
"Women agonize... over cancer; we take as a personal threat the lump in every friend's breast."
~Martha Weinman Lear, Heartsounds
I could barely speak as my girlfriend calmly informed me of the steps she will take to heal. I recall quickly backing out of the phone call and crying for hours in fear for her.... and fear for myself.
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
She had a double mastectomy 2 weeks ago. To be clear, she had both of her breasts removed AND an abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) - as the doctors have said they can use her belly tissue to help rebuild her breasts. As someone who's had 2 Caesarean deliveries and a tummy tuck, I can feel her physical pain and annoyance at the helplessness of a sore abdomen. However, I didn't know what to say when she told me that her once perfect breasts (she was lucky like that) are now nothing more than flabs of skin. She will be rebuilt... that's what the doctors have promised her. They also caught the cancer early enough that they're confident she'll more than likely be cancer-free for years to come. She's awaiting a few more tests to verify this diagnosis.
"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts - it's what you do with what you have left."
~ Hubert Humphrey
In the meanwhile, she feels betrayed in her own skin. She doesn't want to believe that her stitched up and (in her words) "deformed" body is who she is now. She is emotional - feeling everything from fear to anger to gratitude. She is highly aware of the sanctity of life. She is altogether positive of her path and the growth that will benefit her in the long run, despite the complete frustration of the current moments, the unknown and other obstacles in her not too distant future.
"The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next."
~ Mignon McLaughlin
She is brave. She is inspiring me. She is doing what needs to be done while the rest of us stand by at the ready to hold her up if she needs it.
I will visit her tonight, to sit quietly and hold her hand. I hope that's enough for now.
"Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there."
~ Author Unknown
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